Family, Parenting, and Relationships

8 Things Not To Do When Children Are Involved

Here is a list of things not to do when you and your significant other separate and children are involved.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

It is nevertheless easy when a couple decides to finally call it quits. It is even harder when children are involved. No matter the reason or cause of the separation, always remember that your children should always come first. Each parent has the right to love, spend quality time with, communicate with, and have time with their children. (Every situation is different. I understand this and am not referring to the cases where a child could be harmed, put in dangerous situations, or anything like this. I am referring to the normal every day separation case.)

For some reason, many children feel like they are at fault for things beyond their control. It is important to sit down with the child or children and make sure they understand that they have done nothing wrong. Nothing they could have done or not done would have changed the outcome.

2 Don’t Speak Badly About The Other Parent

Every child loves both of their parents. The last thing they want to hear is one parent downing or talking badly about the other. I’ve had to deal with this myself. I don’t talk negatively about my ex, but my son has come home upset because because his biological father and family have spoken badly of me in front of him. Even when you don’t think a child isn’t listening, they’d are.

3 Don’t Refuse Visits

A fast track to being resented by your child is to refue letting your child see their other parent. Most of the time, this is done in hopes of hurting the other parent. In reality, you are hurting your child just as much, if not even more. Remember that.

4 Try Your Best To Be Civil To Each Other

While being civil may not always be easy, remind yourself to always try and be civil in front of the child. It can be over the phone or in person. No matter the past, the child is the most important.

5 Communicate

Most of us have herd the phrase, “Communication is key.” They weren’t wrong when saying that. When you communicate everything dealing with you’re child, it makes things much easier on both ends.

6 Bite Being Played In The Butt

At some point, be prepared for a children to try and play one parent against the other. This much less likely to happen if communication isn’t an issue, but can still happen. If the child is coming home saying this and that, make sure to talk to the other parent and figure out what what could be going on. If you both feel the child is trying to play you against each other, figure out a time that you, the other parent, and child can all sit down and talk. Being confronted by both parents at the same time, let the child’s know they aren’t going to get away with it.

7 Try Working Together

This goes alongside with communication and being played. Remembering your child is the more important one, working together rather than against the other parent makes things run a lot smoother. Working together to raise a productive member of society is the ultimate goal.

8 Don’t Freak If They Get With Someone Else

Life goes on and people move on. Try discussing boundaries relating to a new person in your life or in theirs. It isn’t completely acceptable to ask that neither parent have a new “friend” around the child for a certain amount of time. In my opinion, I also feel it is acceptable to ask to meet the new “friend” as well.

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